College Essay: General Application
My essay started out as a strong start and a terrible finish. The intro hooked the reader and the first body paragraph packed a punch and kept the reader from looking off the page, but my last paragraphs weren't worth reading they were cliche and were too telling. After reading over it multiple times with my teacher and my class mates I found that re-writing my essay was the best choice. It started with paragraph 3 leading with, "High School however now that was a lot of low to a big up. Freshman and sophomore year picture me as like a clingy sad Napoleon Dynamite." And became "The first day of high school felt like it was the first day of my life, I just felt as if once again it was me against the world but this time my back was against a wall." I created this and never would have changed if I had not listened to the edits my peers made. I often times wouldn't have in the past and I am glad I have chosen to listen more and edit my paper into the best possible one. "Now let's spin the globe the other way. School day one; my teachers already knew I was the kid they had to look out for. If was nap time I would be running around, the uncatchable terror." I enjoy using imagery as my sword when writing and I am glad that working with others forces my imagery to get better.
No mans land is now mine! I yelled from the top of a rock overlooking hundreds of trees, my imaginary friends all clapping behind me. When I was young the world never seemed too big for me to conquer; it was me against the world and I didn’t give a damn if no one stood behind me. The trees were my mountains and the valleys my ocean. Our closest neighbor was a mile and a half away, so my war cries and battles with my own imagination were never heard, and I could be myself, even though I was always by myself. The thing about fighting the world by yourself is even if you were as mighty as Atlas and could hold the world up for eternity, eventually the weight of it all comes crashing down.
Now let's spin the globe the other way. School day one; my teachers already knew I was the kid they had to look out for. If was nap time I would be running around, the uncatchable terror. Every year got worse, I had no remorse for my actions and consequences just were obstacles for me to wait through. Once middle-school began however and I entered public school, I learned that my outgoing and energetic personality was not considered acceptable by other kids. I was ridiculed and called names I wish I had never heard. Towards the end of middle-school the only thing keeping me upright and happy was my counselor. His energy could light up the room, and he didn’t treat you as sick, he treated you as a friend, and thats all I needed. Then one day a call made the world come crashing down on my back. My dad sat me down and told me that my counselor had commited suicide. My supports shattered and my mind felt like a scrambled egg. The only person I felt like cared for me was gone and I felt empty, but the way my parents talked to me made me realize I did have people who cared for me. Therefore I vowed no matter how sad I was I would never end my own life.
The first day of high school felt like it was the first day of my life, I just felt as if once again it was me against the world but this time my back was against a wall. Freshman and sophomore year picture me as like a clingy sad Napoleon Dynamite. Then while a friend was away in another country I began to feel frustrated with who I was and chose to change. It was hard because I needed to move past the things that I thought held me up. I believed that video games were my only hope because I could talk with anyone and they wouldn’t mind who I was in the real world. The thing about the virtual world is its all just numbers and letters on a program, I needed to live in the real world. I realize that in order to be happy with who I was I needed to stop caring what other thought of me. Once I did that I didn’t feel like anyone disliked me, I didn’t feel alone.
Even when faced with a challenging childhood no matter how frustrating and broken every day may feel, the next day is bound to be a little brighter. By accepting myself and learning to be in my own skin lead me to live for every moment. Just as Oogway said in Kung Fu Panda, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. Thats why its called the present.” I learned that I didn’t need to look ahead to be myself, I need to no longer be by myself. With my own way of thinking, I built my own world, I just no longer needed my mind to be my only associate.
Now let's spin the globe the other way. School day one; my teachers already knew I was the kid they had to look out for. If was nap time I would be running around, the uncatchable terror. Every year got worse, I had no remorse for my actions and consequences just were obstacles for me to wait through. Once middle-school began however and I entered public school, I learned that my outgoing and energetic personality was not considered acceptable by other kids. I was ridiculed and called names I wish I had never heard. Towards the end of middle-school the only thing keeping me upright and happy was my counselor. His energy could light up the room, and he didn’t treat you as sick, he treated you as a friend, and thats all I needed. Then one day a call made the world come crashing down on my back. My dad sat me down and told me that my counselor had commited suicide. My supports shattered and my mind felt like a scrambled egg. The only person I felt like cared for me was gone and I felt empty, but the way my parents talked to me made me realize I did have people who cared for me. Therefore I vowed no matter how sad I was I would never end my own life.
The first day of high school felt like it was the first day of my life, I just felt as if once again it was me against the world but this time my back was against a wall. Freshman and sophomore year picture me as like a clingy sad Napoleon Dynamite. Then while a friend was away in another country I began to feel frustrated with who I was and chose to change. It was hard because I needed to move past the things that I thought held me up. I believed that video games were my only hope because I could talk with anyone and they wouldn’t mind who I was in the real world. The thing about the virtual world is its all just numbers and letters on a program, I needed to live in the real world. I realize that in order to be happy with who I was I needed to stop caring what other thought of me. Once I did that I didn’t feel like anyone disliked me, I didn’t feel alone.
Even when faced with a challenging childhood no matter how frustrating and broken every day may feel, the next day is bound to be a little brighter. By accepting myself and learning to be in my own skin lead me to live for every moment. Just as Oogway said in Kung Fu Panda, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. Thats why its called the present.” I learned that I didn’t need to look ahead to be myself, I need to no longer be by myself. With my own way of thinking, I built my own world, I just no longer needed my mind to be my only associate.